Are you married yet she asked me with pity in her eyes? Did you not find a husband yet she asked in a tone of despair? Are you still single the she asked with a stifled voice? Why are you still unmarried she asked with judgement in her facial expression? The other end of the pendulum asks “do you have a boyfriend?” and I laugh replying “my entire educational background is American & British and I was raised in a multicultural background but my core beliefs & values do not align with dating and relationships outside marriage as being acceptable.
For the sake of this post, let us stick with the first group of women:
It is a complete paradox how some women with out dated perceptions on life have the audacity to cross (step on) the boundary and openly project their own expectations of partnership & marriage without education their self or empowering their awareness on the reality of the world we live in.
A chunk of our society imposes unrealistic personal ancient opinions onto empowered females as a universal rule or expectation that by a certain age they expect you to magically find the perfect formula for relationships and a soulmate. They forgot that we go through over 17 years of education (school & university) without anyone ever teaching us about relationships. Culture and conditioning conformed us to a set of outdated beliefs which are no longer applicable to the day and age we currently live in. They ask you about having found “a husband” as if it is the golden ticket to answering the world’s problems and ending world hunger, poverty, wars and conflict that we currently have gotten accustomed to. As if it is hitting the jackpot and the solution to all your problems, just get married and settle down!
They ask why you are still single without paying attention to whether you are happy as if ticking the checklist is the formula of a compatible partnership or the source of true happiness.
They put pressure, timeframe and deadlines on when you can find compatibility and connection in relationships without ever questioning the root cause to why we have millions of failed marriages, increase in divorce rate, unhappy couples and separation\conflict between spouses.
We even have a very negative connotative word which stigamtizes a woman who has past society’s age of expectancy in marriage. Why don’t we create a word for the unhappy women/men who are stuck and stagnant in a marriage who fail to collect the courage to leave and feel obliged to hold the fort and lie and fake their happiness for the sake of saving grace and looking good? From shame of being judged or not having the ability to leave the incompatible unfulfilling marriage. What about the archetype of women who stay for fear of taking responsibility of her own life and being dependent on a provider who she is severely unhappy with or mistreats her.
Why don’t we ask about how deep we love ourselves instead of thinking about the biological clock ticking as if women are baby machines and marriage is to please family’s.
Next time someone asks are you not married yet, my solid answer will be 1) I AM falling in love with myself. 2) at the right timing when I AM ready, I WILL meet my compatible soulmate. 3) There is no time line cut off to finding love and partnership.
So while I awaken the masses, help shift the vibration of consciousness and when the stars are aligned and I least expect it, I will meet my most compatible life divine partner, relax this is not a race.
